June I’m Home!

First an apology, I grossly underestimated the demands of June. A veg fest, a bar mitzvah, a graduation, a graduation party, a surprise birthday party, a concert, a gala…you get the idea. I had thought I would have no problem juggling everything and doing it all perfectly and on time.

Turns out that I am not a superwoman, I had pretty much convinced myself that I was, given that when I was a restaurant owner and executive chef and dishwasher I got more done in a day than I now accomplish in a week. What I neglected to take into account was that my body and my mind and my soul have slowed down to accommodate the new pace of my life. I couldn’t simply pull the rip cord and wind up my energizer bunny mode again. More importantly, I just didn’t want to. Spurts of great endurance over the last few weeks have been punctuated with equally strenuous exhaustion.

I struggled. I felt like my body was on the wrong end of a baseball bat. I felt guilty for not being able to do it all and yet at the same time I just wanted to climb into my snuggly bed and sleep for ten hours at a stretch before I had to get up and do it all over again the next day. Either sleep or drink a bottle of wine. Sometimes both, you all know me, who am I kidding?

So for the first time in a very long time, I did not keep self imposed deadlines. I was supposed to post recipes. I didn’t. I was supposed to return phone calls. I didn’t. I owed three guest blog posts. I didn’t do a single one. I was supposed to send my health coaching client’s documents and they got nothing.

Many years ago, my first ‘big girl’ catering company was called, “June, I’m Home!” A cute amalgamation of the two things I do best: cook and nourish the people I care for. I look back several decades later at the fresh faced and eager twenty year old me who was unrealistically aiming for the perfection of being a surrogate idealized wife. I was going to cook my clients healthy and well and make them happy too. I optimistically drew up menus a week at a time based on the global eco fusion I loved, and with a healthful and wholesome twist that was the precursor of my later career. I enthusiastically ‘coached’ my clients much the same way I am now with one important distinction: I assumed that my enthusiasms were theirs and I didn’t take into account the path that led each one of them to my table. I had tunnel vision based on my own idealism, without understanding the uniquely circuitous journey that led each one of them to me.  I was always so surprised when they didn’t do what I told them to and cited reasons like, “too busy,” “too tired,” or “too many commitments.” Secretly I thought that they lacked will power and discipline. If they prioritized their health and exercise regimen then all their problems would magically disappear. Right? I really was that horrible.

So this month I learned a very important lesson for the first time.

Sometimes I will not eat all my vegetable servings in a day. Sometimes I don’t even want to eat whole grains, all I want is white flour preferably in the form of two foot baguette. Sometimes I will go to bed with a whole bag of cashew cookies and eat the entire bag. Sometimes I will be so tired of being too busy that I will watch back to back episodes of House of Cards when I have multiple writing projects due. Sometimes I will not work out for days on end for no other reason than ‘I don’t feel like it.’ Sometimes I won’t be a June Cleaver and Wonder Woman amalgamation. Sometimes I will fail at every single one of the things I set out to do.

Sometimes it is ok to be simply Gretchen.

So, happy June to all of you that figured that out years ago, I’m finally home.

5 Responses

  1. It is absolutely okay to be “just” Gretchen without the cape and bullet repelling cuffs. Thank you for reminding us all of the that.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

SUBSCRIBE TO
CHEF GRETCHEN’S BLOG

In addition to weekly posts with recipes and stories, you will receive…

  • notice of FB live cooking demos
  • advance notice of all public cooking demos
  • advance copy of cookbook offer before general release
  • the ability to consult privately on dietary or wellness questions
Loading

Subscribe
and get my
eBook for
FREE!

Ever wondered what was
in all that deliciousness?

Subscribe to my blog and get my new eBook with all the recipes you loved…

“How to Be a Hobo”

PLUS the bonus

“Homestead
Chesapeake Recipes”

Loading